I literally woke up this morning believing it to be a dream, like the idiot I am. That is, until I looked through my phone and found the pictures of my friend's selfies with him. That man is so kind and cute it creates a knot in my stomach. I still feel as if it was dream being able to have the pleasure of even being in his presence, not to mention give him fan art, get him to say thank you on video for a friend, and get a hug! I probably won't let anyone hear the end of this for a while either.
Also had a dream last night that made me want to cry in both joy and longing. Just thought I should record it somewhere in case I wish to reflect back on what it meant or something. What happened was I was in my room, and I heard scratching on the front door of my house. I wanted to leave it be, but then I heard the door open. I froze as I heard footsteps towards my room down the hallway, and suddenly the knob on my door turned. A strange cloaked man came into my room and started to say something, but not in English. It sounded like French, but I can't be sure since I only hear a few French words from my friend who draws Markiplier with me during Physics at school.
Anyway, I froze and let him speak softly in some foreign language until my Mom came out to see why there was noise and screamed at the guy who broke in. The dream then cut to me waiting outside while the police got a report from my parents. Apparently the man was only after me, so the police separated me from my family and sent me off with an officer who was supposed to be an enforcer at PAX later that day. He let me tag along with him, and I ended up where Mark was signing stuff with Bob and Wade yesterday. The man went to talk to someone and I decided to go off into a corner of the room, as the room was empty and I wanted to somehow compact myself and become the wall.
I felt awful for some reason, and I started to slowly and silently cry, and then it became full-blown tears and I was sobbing hysterically into my arms that were crossed and resting on my knees, which were drawn up to my chest. I felt absolutely terrible and I had no idea why, but I do remember saying to the cop when he came back that I just wanted to cry and not bottle up my emotions. Then I realized Markiplier was right there by the cop and I hid my face in the hood of my batman jacket I always wear. He asked if anything was wrong and I felt embarrassed as I replied that I was fine. That was when I felt him hugging me.
At PAX I got a hug from him, so have I feeling that the hug felt real because of that, but I felt so much better just crying on Mark and hugging him. I woke up with tears on my face and waved the dream away as nothing at first. The more I think about it though, I feel as though the dream was reminding me how much of a hero Mark is to me. His videos always cheer me up, and he is a wonderful human who deserves the world even if he would give it all to his family, friends, and fans.
I feel tired, as the nervous knot in my stomach has not gone away since my brain knows he is probably still having fun at PAX while I stay at home. There are no tickets left for me to buy, and even if I could my Mom would not let me go alone. I still got my chance to meet him though, and that made me immensely happy. I hope every fan of his has the chance to meet him and hug him and tell him how great he is, because he gives awesome, warm hugs and is, simply put, the best man in the world. Well, in my opinion anyway.
Regardless of how tired I am, I still feel like I should do something today art-wise, so I will probably either draw fan art for Mark or finish up payments and what not for groups. If I take a while to respond to messages I apologize. I also apologize if you are suddenly spammed with nothing but Markiplier fanart. Okay I am not sorry about that.
Still freaking out about Markiplier,